up on a soap box
I was doing my typical scan of the news feed on Facebook a few weeks ago, and noticed a friend had posted an article entitled "Spanking in the USA: A sad state in affairs and why spanking is never ok." I read the article, curious what the author had to say to support this thought.
The article is full of statistics from the American Academy of Pediatrics on how children who are spanked are more likely to become violent. They equivocate spanking with marital abuse. They had this statement in bold: "Children are not possessions. Children are, albeit small in size, real human beings who have the right to live in an environment where they are safe from being physically assaulted. Being free of physical harm is the most basic human right, and children should not be exempt from it."
I, of course, believe children should not be placed in situations that they are not ready for. I hate it when I hear about children who are abused. I cried my eyes out in Scotland over the children in our village who were neglected. I slept in the streets of D.C. to raise awareness for the projects with Invisible Children..... however, I do not believe spanking, if done correctly, is abuse. I am sure there is abuse going on that parents are labeling "spanking." But this form of discipline is so far away from the guidance we have in the Bible that it is really not accurate to pile actual spanking with an abused form of hitting that out of control parents are labeling spanking.
I know that not all Bible believing parents agree with spanking, but most agree with some form of discipline. Through continued conversation with this friend and her friends, it was brought to my attention that they do not believe in any form of discipline. She later posted an article entitled Why We Don't Punish Our Son. Ever.
This bothered me. Enough to write on her wall and attempt to communicate what I believe and why. I think I failed. And in the end was pegged as "one of those Christians" who have no idea what they are talking about and are just doing because that's how their parents did it... mindless clones. Although this is not true, I realized I didn't have references to verses or a whole lot of backing besides knowing it to be true...and that wasn't good enough. So I decided to find backing for truth. The best way for me to do this is to break it down. Get down to the basics and then build off of that foundation.
After talking with parents and doing some of my own research here's what I put together:
"Lets start at the very beginning, a very good place to start..."
I believe we are born with sin. Anyone who has been around very small children has to agree that being bad and wanting our own way is not something babies learn, its something we are already good at. So they need direction to keep them from acting this way. God's example of direction is discipline. And as my father-in-law reminded me, God is the perfect refiner, we are not. We can only do our best at disciplining our children as we teach them.
The classic verse, Proverbs 23: 13 & 14:
"Do no hold back discipline from the child. Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die. You shall strike him with the rod and rescue his soul from Sheol."
Its pretty black and white.
I was reading the Proverbs chapter for today this morning and saw...
Proverbs 3:12
"For whom the Lord loves He reproves, Even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights."
I liked this perspective of discipline. Its not like we, as parents, are out to get our children and we relish in the opportunity to correct them! ("Phenomenal Cosmic POWER...") It is because we love them that we correct them.
I believe that God has the Bible full of stories for us to see these instances of people's failures and the response He has to them to define His character. And over and over again we see His love, and over and over again we see His method of correction and its not sitting them down and having a nice little chat about feelings.
I am not saying we are to be God to our children, but its important to teach them that are are people in authority over them, and laws to obey. Though they may not want to, they need to. My father-in-law also mentioned that if we are unable to teach our children to obey, eventually its out of our hands, as they grow to adults and it becomes something the police will handle. And then ultimately they will be judged by God.
No matter what a parent would like to do to remove consequences from actions they cannot. That is simply the way our world works. Scientifically as well as socially. A consequence is a form of discipline.
It comes down to what we are called to do as parents. My Dad has a lot of wisdom on the subject, and has taught many parenting classes. He shared some thoughts, verses and his notes with me from these classes. I am taking verses from his extensive notes and picking up those that have to do specifically with parenting and walking through the Bible's take on discipline...
*all bold words are quotes from his notes.
"Children are a gift from God Psalms 127:3 Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward.
Children need to be shown the example of a holy life Psalms 112: 1-2 Praise the Lord! How blessed is the man who fears the LORD, Who greatly delights in His commandments. His descendants will be mighty on earth; The generation of the upright will be blessed.
Parent's Basic Duty: 1. Instruct God's Standard Deut 6:4-9 Hear, O Isreal! The LORD is our God, the LORD is one! You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul and with all your might. These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall write them on the door posts of your house and on your gates.
Parent's Basic Duty: 2. Teach the Law of God James 1:22 But prove yourselves doers of the word and not merely hearers who delude themselves.
Disobedience to us and no correction is disobedience to our Father Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (as well as Deut. 6:6-7 again, a command)
A parental refusal to discipline is an act of hatred Proverbs 13:24 He who withholds his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently.
How a child does in life is a reflection of how he was disciplined and taught Prov 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it. & Proverbs 19:18 Discipline your son while there is hope, And do not desire his death.
Purpose of Discipline: to destroy a spirit of rebellion Proverbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of discipline will remove it far from him.
There are literally pages and pages of references that all say the same thing. There is a purpose and a reason for discipline, God said so. What is the simple truth we learn as a child "Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so..." and its true, we need to able to rely on the Bible for truth and then stand firm on that truth. I have loads more where this came from, thanks to my fathers' direction and guidance. There is so much in scripture that is pretty specific and clear.
I am humbled. There is so much I do not know and so much I need to know and apply to being a parent. Not only because we are commanded to, but because of how much I adore my little Wes. He deserves the best and I want to be that to him. This may have started out as a way to prove "my side" of discipline, but in the end God has used it as an eye-opening experience for me.
its cool how God works. :)
The article is full of statistics from the American Academy of Pediatrics on how children who are spanked are more likely to become violent. They equivocate spanking with marital abuse. They had this statement in bold: "Children are not possessions. Children are, albeit small in size, real human beings who have the right to live in an environment where they are safe from being physically assaulted. Being free of physical harm is the most basic human right, and children should not be exempt from it."
I, of course, believe children should not be placed in situations that they are not ready for. I hate it when I hear about children who are abused. I cried my eyes out in Scotland over the children in our village who were neglected. I slept in the streets of D.C. to raise awareness for the projects with Invisible Children..... however, I do not believe spanking, if done correctly, is abuse. I am sure there is abuse going on that parents are labeling "spanking." But this form of discipline is so far away from the guidance we have in the Bible that it is really not accurate to pile actual spanking with an abused form of hitting that out of control parents are labeling spanking.
I know that not all Bible believing parents agree with spanking, but most agree with some form of discipline. Through continued conversation with this friend and her friends, it was brought to my attention that they do not believe in any form of discipline. She later posted an article entitled Why We Don't Punish Our Son. Ever.
This bothered me. Enough to write on her wall and attempt to communicate what I believe and why. I think I failed. And in the end was pegged as "one of those Christians" who have no idea what they are talking about and are just doing because that's how their parents did it... mindless clones. Although this is not true, I realized I didn't have references to verses or a whole lot of backing besides knowing it to be true...and that wasn't good enough. So I decided to find backing for truth. The best way for me to do this is to break it down. Get down to the basics and then build off of that foundation.
After talking with parents and doing some of my own research here's what I put together:
"Lets start at the very beginning, a very good place to start..."
I believe we are born with sin. Anyone who has been around very small children has to agree that being bad and wanting our own way is not something babies learn, its something we are already good at. So they need direction to keep them from acting this way. God's example of direction is discipline. And as my father-in-law reminded me, God is the perfect refiner, we are not. We can only do our best at disciplining our children as we teach them.
The classic verse, Proverbs 23: 13 & 14:
"Do no hold back discipline from the child. Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die. You shall strike him with the rod and rescue his soul from Sheol."
Its pretty black and white.
I was reading the Proverbs chapter for today this morning and saw...
Proverbs 3:12
"For whom the Lord loves He reproves, Even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights."
I liked this perspective of discipline. Its not like we, as parents, are out to get our children and we relish in the opportunity to correct them! ("Phenomenal Cosmic POWER...") It is because we love them that we correct them.
I believe that God has the Bible full of stories for us to see these instances of people's failures and the response He has to them to define His character. And over and over again we see His love, and over and over again we see His method of correction and its not sitting them down and having a nice little chat about feelings.
I am not saying we are to be God to our children, but its important to teach them that are are people in authority over them, and laws to obey. Though they may not want to, they need to. My father-in-law also mentioned that if we are unable to teach our children to obey, eventually its out of our hands, as they grow to adults and it becomes something the police will handle. And then ultimately they will be judged by God.
No matter what a parent would like to do to remove consequences from actions they cannot. That is simply the way our world works. Scientifically as well as socially. A consequence is a form of discipline.
It comes down to what we are called to do as parents. My Dad has a lot of wisdom on the subject, and has taught many parenting classes. He shared some thoughts, verses and his notes with me from these classes. I am taking verses from his extensive notes and picking up those that have to do specifically with parenting and walking through the Bible's take on discipline...
*all bold words are quotes from his notes.
"Children are a gift from God Psalms 127:3 Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward.
Children need to be shown the example of a holy life Psalms 112: 1-2 Praise the Lord! How blessed is the man who fears the LORD, Who greatly delights in His commandments. His descendants will be mighty on earth; The generation of the upright will be blessed.
Parent's Basic Duty: 1. Instruct God's Standard Deut 6:4-9 Hear, O Isreal! The LORD is our God, the LORD is one! You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul and with all your might. These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall write them on the door posts of your house and on your gates.
Parent's Basic Duty: 2. Teach the Law of God James 1:22 But prove yourselves doers of the word and not merely hearers who delude themselves.
Disobedience to us and no correction is disobedience to our Father Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (as well as Deut. 6:6-7 again, a command)
A parental refusal to discipline is an act of hatred Proverbs 13:24 He who withholds his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently.
How a child does in life is a reflection of how he was disciplined and taught Prov 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it. & Proverbs 19:18 Discipline your son while there is hope, And do not desire his death.
Purpose of Discipline: to destroy a spirit of rebellion Proverbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of discipline will remove it far from him.
There are literally pages and pages of references that all say the same thing. There is a purpose and a reason for discipline, God said so. What is the simple truth we learn as a child "Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so..." and its true, we need to able to rely on the Bible for truth and then stand firm on that truth. I have loads more where this came from, thanks to my fathers' direction and guidance. There is so much in scripture that is pretty specific and clear.
I am humbled. There is so much I do not know and so much I need to know and apply to being a parent. Not only because we are commanded to, but because of how much I adore my little Wes. He deserves the best and I want to be that to him. This may have started out as a way to prove "my side" of discipline, but in the end God has used it as an eye-opening experience for me.
its cool how God works. :)
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